Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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