Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I didn't notice because vodka
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
