Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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