would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
All the doctor said was why
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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