Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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