how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
