Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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