i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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