I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
