but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
