I wannas sexs uuuuu
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
