is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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