I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
