chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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