Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
