If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
