Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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