you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
