I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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