I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
