there's paper in my vomit.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
