if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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