there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Randomize
