All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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