Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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