I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
