I want to have your abortion
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
