You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
