and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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