..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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