it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
