He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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