And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
