i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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