Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
