I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
