i just google imaged poop.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
