Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
