It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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