To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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