They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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