I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
