I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
