he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
