I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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