Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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