I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
