so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
