Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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