If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's never too late to be topless.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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